There are times that taking a photo might be seen as just too intrusive. In particular, intimate and personal moments. The dilemma then is whether to do so and capture a memory forever, or avoid using the camera and lose an unrepeatable and special moment.
A relative of mine was distraught when her husband died. He had been ill for some time and it was clear that his days were short. They were very close and their final moments were loving and personal. She was with him when he died and their last words will stay with her forever.
But his image wont. Now she has to try and remember him the best she can. She remembers their time together but would dearly love to have a lasting image of their final loving moments. It was a special time for her and a time for him when he would no longer be suffering.
She never thought of taking a photograph. And, if she had asked me to take one, I would have had to think twice. I probably would have felt that it was an intrusion on his personal space at a time when he was weak and vulnerable. Even an act bordering on voyeurism.
But now I realise that it would likely have been something that not only he would have agreed to but something that would have brought long-lasting succour and happy thoughts to my surviving relative.
The moment is now gone, never to be repeated. I have promised myself to think and act differently next time. And I feel, in that same situation, that I would wish to leave a legacy and memory, however swift, for my loved ones too.
Eric Hartwell is an experienced photographer and owner of the extensive photography resource website ephotocentral
